Saturday, February 7, 2015

Lemons

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

Am I the only one who hates that stupid phrase?

First of all, lemonade is definitely not my drink of choice (especially not in the middle of winter). Second of all, what if you're out of sugar? What if you are so exhausted, you don't even have the energy to go to the store to buy sugar, much less to squeeze the juice out of life's endless supply of lemons? Even if you own an industrial sized lemon squeezer, making lemonade is quite the work out. Trust me, I worked at McAlister's. So I guess my question is, if you are fresh out of energy and sugar, what are you supposed to do with all these damn lemons? Am I the only one who thinks of these things?

Here is my current theory--although, mind you, I am no expert (even if I did work at McAlister's). When life gives you lemons: stop taking them. Seriously. Slam the door in life's face if you have to. Don't answer the phone. Stop following life on facebook. Just say no. Despite what you may have  been taught as a kid and young adult, you don't have to accept life's freaking lemons. You can say 'no thank you', or give life the finger. Whatever fits. Just make sure you aren't about to back down at some persistence, because life's a bitch, and rarely backs off without a fight. My theory is that, eventually, life's got to figure out that lemons just aren't cutting it and start supplying something else, right? Maybe chocolate? Or coffee? (A girl can dream.)

Life and I are currently in a standoff. I'll let you know how that works out for me.